This weekend, I hosted my annual June rooftop party, a tradition I love that brings my family together for food, laughter, and a gorgeous Kansas City view. But this year was different. We were gathering in the shadow of a recent family funeral. Grief was in the air, quietly woven between conversations and shared plates of food.

Honoring Absent Loved Ones

To honor that space, without turning the day into something heavy, I set out a simple offering: a basket of rocks and a handful of acrylic paint markers. I invited everyone, if they wanted, to decorate a rock in honor of someone they miss or something they’re holding in their heart. There were no rules. Some painted flowers or symbols of remembrance. Others created rocks to mark Father’s Day, or to add a little beauty to their gardens.

It became a quiet ritual tucked inside a joyful gathering. No speeches, no pressure, just a moment of creative reflection. Some people kept their rocks. Others plan to leave them at the cemetery. Some may forget them in the bottom of a purse and rediscover them weeks from now. That’s okay too.

As we navigate family events, it’s not unusual for a grief to tag along. Maybe it’s the first Father’s Day without a dad. Maybe a wedding is coming up, and someone’s seat will be painfully empty. The absence can feel sharp, especially during moments that are supposed to feel joyful.

Remembrance Alongside Celebration

But there’s something powerful about making space for remembrance alongside celebration. It doesn’t have to be somber or elaborate. It just has to be sincere.

Here are a few thoughtful ways to honor loved ones during celebrations:

• Include a photo or framed message at a wedding or graduation party to quietly acknowledge someone who is missed.
• Light a candle or raise a toast during a holiday meal or milestone moment.
• Create a memory table with objects, quotes, or items that remind you of your person.
• Offer a creative ritual, like painting memory rocks, planting flowers in their honor, or setting out a journal where guests can write a note or memory.
• Say their name. Sometimes a simple “Mum would have loved this” is enough to let others know they’re still part of the moment.

Grief doesn’t always need to take center stage but giving it a seat at the table can bring comfort, healing, and even a sense of celebration. Because remembering someone we love is, in its own way, a way of loving them again.

And that love doesn’t end, even when they’re no longer physically with us.