For many, Mother’s Day arrives wrapped in flowers and brunch menus, pastel cards and well-meaning social media posts. It’s a holiday filled with celebration, but for many others, it’s a tender and triggering time.
Grief can show up in so many forms on this day. You may be missing your mom, whether your loss is recent or decades old, her absence might feel especially sharp this time of year. You might be mourning a beloved grandmother or another mother figure who shaped your life. Maybe your relationship with your mom was complicated, or estranged, and this holiday brings up mixed emotions. Perhaps you’ve struggled to become a mother yourself, or you’re grieving a child, losses that can feel invisible in the cultural noise around Mother’s Day.
Wherever you find yourself this weekend, I want to acknowledge the truth of your experience. You are not alone.
Reflecting on Mother Figures
Mother’s Day can be a good time to pause and reflect on what we’ve inherited, not just in genetics, but in wisdom, values, and even the legacies we want to carry forward (or leave behind). My grandmother was the matriarch of our family. She was the glue that held us together, the keeper of family stories and traditions. When she died, I stepped into that role. It was not by obligation, but by a deep pull to honor the togetherness she had fostered. From my own mother, I feel I inherited my inner joy, that ability to find light even in dark seasons. But I also know not every mother relationship is like that. Sometimes, what we receive from our mothers or mother figures isn’t nourishing. Sometimes the legacy is painful. In those cases, it can be empowering to reflect on what we choose not to carry forward. There’s a Buddhist concept of letting go of what no longer serves us. On this Mother’s Day, I invite you to sit quietly with your grief, your memories, and your heart. Then ask yourself: What am I carrying that I no longer need? Is it guilt, regret, resentment, or unfulfilled expectations? What would it feel like to release even a corner of that weight? This kind of reflection doesn’t mean we forget. It means we allow ourselves to be more fully present with the truth of our experience and to care for ourselves in the process.The Healing Power of Rituals
One way to gently move through this day is by creating personal rituals. They don’t have to be elaborate. They just need to be meaningful to you. Some ideas:- Light a candle in memory of your mother or a mother figure.
- Write her a letter and say what’s on your heart.
- Cook a dish she used to make, or one you wish you could have shared.
- Spend time in nature. This is something I personally find grounding and healing.
- Start a new tradition in her honor, or in honor of your own healing.
Your Grief Is Welcome Here
If this Mother’s Day is heavy for you, I hope you’ll find space to be tender with yourself. Let yourself feel what you feel, without judgment. Whether you’re remembering a mother you adored, grieving one you never truly knew, or letting go of something that never quite was, your grief is valid. And your love, in all its forms, matters deeply. As we honor the complex legacies of motherhood, may we make room for joy, sorrow, growth, and rest. And may we each find ways, large or small, to connect with what nurtures us now. Links to recent blog posts with helpful related information care below.- Rituals: marigoldpath.com/rituals
- Grief Support Groups: marigoldpath.com/support-groups
- How to Help Someone Dealing with Grief: marigoldpath.com/how-to-help-someone-dealing-with-grief
